People watching at the gym

Gym culture absolutely fascinates me. Whenever I go to the gym I go on the treadmill and then I leave ASAP (usually because I’m so sweaty people probably think I’ve been swimming) and get in my car that is parked as close as possible to the door, but whilst I’m there, what a fantastic place to people watch.

Last Sunday morning (devoted, just saying) and as it was fairly empty I decided to venture into the weights section of the gym.

Anyone that has ever encountered me knows that I am incredibly weak, I can barely lift the bag of sugar to pour into my tea – it’s not good, so I wasn’t about to start swinging weights around like I knew what I was doing. However, I do know how to use the leg press so I set up camp there and proceeded to workout/people watch.

As my thunder thighs are burning away, there is three other people in the gym.

One of them is stood on a machine on his phone. Apparently he was really popular or perhaps he was constructing a wonderful blog about people watchers at the gym, but he did not use the machine for the whole 15 minutes I was sat there.


He didn’t even pretend to attempt to use it. I think he mistook it for a bench.

He could have really benefited from those machines so he should have really got cracking.

Whilst tutting and rolling my eyes, I noticed someone else watching themselves in the mirror.

Just to set the scene, he was wearing a really thin backed, low arm hole vest (I could see nip) a net-backed cap and had a straightened, obviously bleached fringe.

Quite frankly, I am usually the gym mong. I don’t wear any make up, my hair resembles the Weetos man and just walking through the door makes me incredibly red and incredibly sweaty. You can imagine how many heads I’m turning.

Apart from looking like a Backstreet Boy, he wasn’t really doing an awful lot. He was very slowly lifting a small weight whilst maintaining contact with himself in the mirror. He was gazing into his own eyes.

It was the slow nature of the lifting and the super stare that was weirding me out. It was strange. I felt like I’d walked in on him in a, let’s call it ‘intimate moment’.

The other guy was actually using the gym equipment properly like a normal human being. Bor-ing.


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