Encounters with Charity Workers

I haven’t blogged in a really, really long time. I just haven’t got an awful lot of insightful things to say so I’m just going to ramble – as if I don’t usually – about some of the charity workers I have had the pleasure to meet in the past month or so.

Encounter #1
Charity Worker: “Can I have just 5 minutes of your time Madam?”
Now at this point, every other person on the planet walks away and ignores them, but like a mug I respond. This is a rookie mistake as even if you respond to tell them you are busy, you have given them enough attention that they latch on for the next 30 minutes.
Me: “I’m really sorry I’m running late for work”
C.W: “oh really where do you work?”
Me: “New Look”
So then he continues to question me about my life which he evidently does not actually care about. And eventually he says “so how old are you?”
Me: “I’m 19”
C.W: “Really? You look much older!”
Oh good. That will help with both the quarter life crisis and the persuasion of me to give you money every month.
Me: “Yes really. I really have to go to work now”
C.W: “So when is your break?”
Oh God. This has escalated quickly.
Me: “I’m not sure until I get there”
C.W: “Well come back on your break and we can go and do something. I am in charge so I can come and go as I like”
Brilliant. Very dedicated to the cause I see. At this point I didn’t have a boyfriend but my answer was still my always favourite line; “I don’t think my boyfriend would be very happy with that”
C.W: “Have a good shift at work”

Encounter #2
The same stand returns a couple of weeks later. This time my newly acquired friend was unfortunately not there. I was crushed. However, I battled on and was then cornered by another worker.
C.W: “Hi there, can I talk to you for 5 minutes?”
Me: “I actually spoke to someone the other week, I’m not old enough to donate”
C.W: “Oh ok, what are you up to?”
I’M BUSY
Me: “Just going to work”
C.W: “Where do you work?”
Me: “New Look.”
C.W: “At least that is inside”
Me: “Yes it is warm in there”
He did not sense the tone.
C.W: “I don’t mind being out in the cold when I get to talk to beautiful girls like you.”
Oh for the love of God.
Me: “You know another member of your team used a very similar line on me, you lot are clearly hard at work all the time”
C.W: “Was he ginger and Irish?”
He was and clearly a serial perv.
Me: “Yes. He wasn’t too happy when I told him I couldn’t meet him because of my boyfriend”
C.W: “I will let you get off to work then”
Yes, Good Day Sir.

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