I have the worst memory in the world. It was always been quite bad so I know it isn’t because I’m approaching 20 (sob). However, I do remember random things from my primary school days. I went to a combined school called Green Park. I used to think it was absolutely huge with its 300 or so students, in the entire school, but when I went to secondary school there was that many people in my YEAR.
#1 Signing a piece of work someone got out of the bin.
Yes this is as bizarre as it sounds. I was either in year 3 or 5, I can’t remember [ironically.] and we were sorting out our trays. Oh the days of trays. And I was throwing away some paper that I had written a paragraph or so on before deciding I didn’t like my hand writing or whatever. A short time later the work that I had just thrown away lands on my desk as a boy asks me to sign it for him so he can keep it. I did sign it, minor celebrity that I was, and I bet somewhere he has that in a frame.
#2 Playing tag at primary school
The only thing I can really remember about this is the ‘girl pit’ and the ‘boy pit’ that naturally everyone spent half of the break time lurking around trying to push each other into the opposite pit. The ‘girl pit’ was a piece of ground slightly lower that the playground with logs that we sat on – so feminine. The ‘girl pit’ would be home so whoever was it would just patrol the edge. So really when I say we ‘played tag’ I mean we sat on some logs for 15 minutes.
#3 Being allowed on the field
When you got old enough you progressed from the bottom playground to the top playground. That was when you knew you were rolling with the big guns, the year 7s. The playground was quite big but the field was huge. We were only allowed on it in the summer if it was bone dry, and if they were really pushing the boat out we could eat lunch on there too, so when we were allowed on there everyone ran riot. There would be a huge game of football in the middle causing various arguments as the girls frolicked around by the goals trying to get attention from the boys. Actually thinking about it, in reality we were probably quite annoying to a 10 year old boy just wanting to kick a ball.
I lived in the corner of the school field. Not actually on the field, I was not a homeless child, my garden backed on to the school field which meant that every lunch time I would potter up to the fence with my friends and we would all proceed to scream ‘MUM’ for about 5 minutes until my Mum came out. Heaven forbid if she had gone out at lunchtime. She would give us chocolate biscuits through the fence and I would love life.
#4 Sports Day
I was in Poland. We never won anything. That is the only memory I have.
Well not the only memory, but the most prominent as I am the most competitive person ever.
The only ‘sports’ I remember participating in were doing 10 skips with a rope and then put a cube in the box. We also had to throw ourselves in to a sandpit, some refer to this as the long jump but as a small child I feel this is an unfair name, which by sports day was a sandpit but every other day it was a litter tray to various animals. That is actually really disgusting…
#5 Our last day in year 7
At my primary school you didn’t leave until year 7, starting secondary school in year 8. This changed the year we left as the new year 7s came to our secondary school to, which at the time we hated but it actually worked out pretty well as we were never the youngest in ‘big school’ and therefore received less bullying.
I digress, our teachers made a presentation for us with pictures of all of us and played Eva Cassidy ‘fields of Gold’ and we all sobbed for about 2 hours. I do actually remember that the first to cry was a boy called Karl Hills (sorry Karl). See, what a bizarre memory I have.
#6 Giving my best friend a nose bleed
You know when you are younger, or maybe even now sometimes, when you grab each others hands and spin round and round? No? Well we were doing that and Chloe told me she wanted to stop, so being filled with common sense as usual I simply let go and Chlo – who is only 5ft now so you can imagine how small she was at primary school – went flying off [I am actually dying with laughter as I write this. Worst friend ever.] similar to something from a cartoon and hit the floor and proceeded to bleed everywhere.
#7 Making people throw their phone at a bus
This one also makes me die with laughter but I felt quite bad at the time.
I was going out with a boy called James Nixon – we are now friends and hopefully this will embarrass him greatly, if not at least to a small extent – and I broke up with him (such drama) and he threw his phone at a bus. Or so I was told…
#8 Being given a ‘for my wife’ card on Valentines Day
I don’t know how old I was when this happened but it was from a boy who lived at the end of my street. I also got another card that year and it was only a couple of years ago that I found out it was from my mum. Fantastic.
#9 The Crick-Crack teacher
We had a teacher called Mr Jones. He was one of my favorite teachers and whenever he used to do his assemblies he would spend a good 10 minutes or so at the beginning saying ‘crick’ and we would have to say ‘crack’ in the same way. Life was so simple then.
#10 Singing Assembly
This was the worst day of the week. I hate performing in any way, shape or form. The whole school would sit in vertical rows and sing various songs like Cauliflowers fluffy etc. and then they would make each year group sing in turn. As you went up the year groups the singing got quieter and grumpier but they still insisted on doing it. I hated singing assembly.
#11 Being a reindeer narrator
Every year in whatever play I was in, I would be narrator. This is because, as I said before, I do not do performing but I can read. I tell a lie, I was the Pharaoh’s wife once, but I didn’t say anything. In my last year in primary school, for the Christmas play Chloe and I were reindeer narrators. As part of our narrating role we had to pretend we were leading Santa’s Sleigh. We had to do this in the freezing cold local church. I did not love life.
#12 A poor girl in assembly
As well as singing assembly we just had normal assemblies. I think I actually spent most of my time at primary school in some form of assembly. There was a girl that was very overweight for such a small child and when it was the turn of her row to leave the assembly, she could not get up. Our head teacher had to pull her up. I have never
laughed so much felt so bad for someone.
#13 BNBN Boy
I do not know him name, I just remember that he sat on our table at lunch [we had set tables]. He never said a word but once he opened his packet on mini BNBN biscuits with such force that one flew out and landed in his drink. Me and Chloe were laughing for the rest of the day. It is the simple things.
#14 Making a boy cry
Me and my friend Jia-Yi, for whatever reason, threw a rubber at our friend Ollie Kent and it hit him straight in the forehead and left a huge mark. As usual, being the lovely person that I am, I just laughed – as did Jia-Yi – and he cried. Forever a good friend.
#15 In the library
I also forgot to add how cool I was at primary school. I was a ‘class rep’ ‘school leader’ and a librarian. A librarian meant you got to stay inside in the warm and do nothing. I was a librarian with Jia-Yi and a boy called Josh Speers. They had a long term love-hate relationship where Josh would irritate Jia-Yi to the maximum and she would find the heaviest book and beat him with it. It would provide me with so much entertainment it was unreal. I had forgotten about it until talking to Chlo and as soon as she said it I burst out laughing and had to add it in. So technically I didn’t remember this, but I do remember it happening so it counts. It does!
#16 Breaking hearts…
I went out with a boy called Keifer, from a rival primary school, for about a day. It was a brief relationship in which he bought me a teddy and I felt it was progressing to quickly and ended things. I remember it was on the day of England playing in the world cup and we were all hanging around the park by the pub. I got my friend Ben Lucas to do it for me and then Keifer tried to punch him. Such fun.