The Fist of Rage – Explained

The FIST OF RAGE, an ingenious invention of mine that has progressed on to even better things, makes me die with laughter except at the point when I am really mad and am actually doing the fist of rage at someone. Just to clarify, the FIST OF RAGE does not actual hit people, nor does it fist people, it is there purely for a healthy, non violent expression of anger. Well currently non violent, I refuse to take responsibility for the actions of the FIST OF RAGE, it has a mind of its own.

Here are explanations for the FIST OF RAGE and its counter parts

#1 THE FIST OF RAGE
Clench fists, one or two depending on the severity of the rage and say “FIST OF RAGE”
My most used and most favourite. The FIST OF RAGE is used by so many people unknowingly which is why it is so brilliant. Any anger, rage, moodiness can be accommodated by the fist. It is like an adult temper tantrum. For extra rage shake them but not in an excited way [see #5] only in a “I’m so angry I’m shaking” way.
Key examples of when the FIST OF RAGE is appropriate:
“Hannah, where are the scissors?”
“In the drawer”
“Where?”
“In the drawer”
“What drawer?”
“The kitchen drawer, where they live and always have done”
“Where?”
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD” *FIST OF RAGE*

“Hannah, which top should I wear the red or the pink?”
“The pink one”
“But I think the red one is better”
“THEN WHY ASK!?” *FIST OF RAGE*

“Hannah, what film do you want to watch?”
“I don’t mind, anything really”
“No you choose one”
“I will watch whatever, I like anything”
“No, no you choose”
“Alright, Mission Impossible 4.”
“I don’t want to watch that” *FIST OF RAGE*

“Hannah, I need to talk to you”
“Ok, what’s up?”
“Oh, nothing, don’t worry”
*FIST OF RAGE*

As you can see, I have a ridiculously short temper / little no patience with people. The fist prevents me from screaming at random people or my friends and family when they test how far my non-existent patience will stretch. I can assure you it is not very far.

#2 THE WRIST OF RAGE
lifting your arm, with a limp hand and saying ‘wrist of rage to you’
This is for when you are really tired but filled with rage. Or when it is too hot or comfortable to move or make any effort. It is a lazy rage, but a rage all the same.

 

#3 THE LIP OF RAGE
snarly lip as demonstrated very well my Emilie Thomson and impersonated extremely well by Alia Franks.
This one makes me howl with laughter every single time I see it. This look goes perfectly with the fist but not the wrist. When expressing strong feelings about someone or something that makes you really really mad-angry then the lip whilst you are talking is brilliant.

#4 THE LOOK OF RAGE
death stares, bitch please looks, wide eyes
You do not want to be on the receiving end of the look of rage. Shit has hit the fan if you are getting this look and you should run. Fast. Very fast. If you get once passing look of rage, then you may be safe. If it is longer than 3 seconds and then the eyes begin to go like this > o.O < run even faster. However, if you are a nice enough person and not a devil child this will not happen to you.

 

#5 THE FISTS OF EXCITEMENT
two hands, both in fists, shake above head like maracas singing “alalalalala bamba” repeatedly.
These were coined for discussions of holiday [TENERIFE 2012 ARIBA ARIBA] and proved very useful. They can be used in any situation in which you are excited, hence ‘fists of excitement’. I think it is quite self-explanatory really.

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