I’m not whingeing (a lot) but jeese-louise I feel grim. I feel like I am actually a walking bottle of tequila. Screaming “tequila! tequila!” in my attempted Mexican accent was such a good idea last night but today? Not so much. My throat is bad, my feet are crippled and all I can feel in my stomach is the ridiculous amounts of alcohol I consumed. Last night wasn’t even for freshers. My fresher’s week is finished but I am still doing this to myself. WHY!? Because at the time it was a really “super sassy” idea. No one told me about how much I was going to suffer in the aftermath of fresher’s week – only what to do during – so I am going to put this out there for others so that you will not feel quite as horrid as I do.
#1 Buy vitamins
If, like me, you are completely inadequate in cooking anything that doesn’t boil or come from a packet then after a week you will feel awful. Trust me. Unfortunately, I have only just started the vitamin process but already I feel better so if you start taking them the week before and during freshers then you will probably feel much better than me. Or alternatively, just munch on a carrot on the way to uni.
#2 Stock up on water and throat sweets
Both to take with you to lectures. A coughing fit on the way to lectures, at the lectures, after the lectures makes people give you weird looks so if you want to make friends with someone other than the germs you are harbouring, be prepared.
These are the best throat sweets I have ever had in my life! I loved them even before poor student living and they are only 59p.
#3 Buy soft toilet roll
Your nose will love you forever, and I’m not going to lie so will your bum. Yes, we are poor students but Tesco Value loo roll takes the skin of your nose like a rock with razors on it. How do you expect to pull at freshers if you look like Rudolf at both ends? I speak the truth. Leave it by your bed with a bottle of water before you go out so that when you crawl back in the morning you can just hop on in and then in the morning you don’t have to move.
#4 Wear clothes that are the same colour every night
Not the same clothes, just clothes that are all one colour so that your washing doesn’t take ages. My chosen colour is black as it is the easiest. Everything if black. Underwear, socks, tops, dresses and this means that I will pay less at the washing machine and don’t have to go down their thousands of times. If you really must wear colour then get some colourful shoes or a bag or just wear one really bright colour all the time.
#5 Set 5 alarms
If you actually have to go to Uni – I forget that this is the reason why I am here – set them all 2 minutes apart so that even if you snooze them they continue to go off until you get so annoyed that you get up in pure rage to stop the constant beeping. It works.
#6 Put socks on as soon as you get home
Put thick bed socks on as soon as you get home and your feet will not hurt in the morning! Unless they are well and truly blistered then I am afraid I cannot help. You don’t need any of this foot cream nonsense – why would anyone want creamy feet in bed?! blergh. – just fluffy socks.
#7 Drink through the pain
This is the most important one. Fresher’s flu, blisters, sore throat, broken foot, whatever, DRINK THROUGH THE PAIN! It will only get better. Until the next day but then you just drink again! And everything will be fine! and the process just continues. To stop this process you just need to slowly minimize the amount of alcohol consumed. This process will take about 3 years.