6 things that girls shouldn’t wear

#1 (my ultimate pet peeve) The wrong bra
If you are going to leave the house wearing a white top and black bra, don’t. Or a black top with a white bra. Or a pretty chiffon top with a luminous yellow with pink polka dots bra. Just because it’s made of lace doesn’t mean it becomes acceptable to display half of it. You still look like a hoe. Additionally, if you are wearing a racer back or a strapless top then purchase in a strapless bra. If your knockers are to big for a strapless bra get clear straps. It physically hurts me to see how poorly dressed people look when they leave the house and this could be stopped it the bra was right!

#2 Blue eyeshadow
Why anyone thought it was a good idea I do not know. Why would you voluntarily make yourself look like you’ve been punched in the eye. That is all.

#3 Granny pants with tight clothes
VPL (visible panty lines people) KILL ME. There is no excuse for it. “I don’t like thongs” “they are really expensive” “no where does them” wrong wrong wrong. If you don’t like the acceptable, comfortable wedgie that is a thong, you don’t have to get one. You don’t even have to venture amongst the OAPs in M+S and John Lewis to get the granny pant versions now because everywhere does them. Seamless granny pants are a god send. The boys aren’t a great fan but if your in a relationship and it’s love they will see past it blah blah blah, otherwise maybe you should consider being less of a sketty betty. Some places do them for like £2 (good old Primark). So if you insist on wearing clothes so tight that the outline of each organ is identifiable from 20 metres away then wear some decent knickers.

#4 Anything so short that you can see intestines when bending over
The boys may like to look but they won’t touch because everyone else already has. Only one type of girl wears so clothes so small that they look like they shopped in the kids section of next; Skets. Have some dignity woman! No one wants to watch the bottom of your bumcheek, that now looks saggy as it has been wedged into some denim shorts, jiggle around whilst they are trying to swallow. That sort of thing causes choking. At least shorts protect the vahoo area. Short skirts + dresses leave nothing to the imagination. So if you are going to wear a short skirt, do us all a favour and throw some (seamless) granny pants on.

#5 Bandeaus as tops in England.
I can deal with a bandeau when it is paired with something highwaisted so only a teeny bit is on show like it would be with a cut out dress, but when you see people with an appearance similar to the rating of SuBo and even the girls that look good, wearing a bandeau in England is ridiculous. On the 2 hot days we get a year I may also let it go, but when it is just a normal freezing day PUT SOME CLOTHES ON. Don’t wander around in shorts, or even worse leggings, and a bandeau with a hoodie. Why wear a top that doesn’t keep you warm, just to put a hoodie over the top. Is this not counter productive? Just me?! For the love of God.

#6 Leggings as trousers
No matter where your leggings are from, they always always always go see through on the arse. Wearing granny pants (and getting a VPL… grr…) with a slogan, see through leggings and a crop top is not a good look. How do you look in the mirror and think that you actually look ok? No comprende. Would you wear tights as trousers? No. And with leggings it is the same principle.

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